If you are reading this page, it is likely that you or someone close to you is suffering from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, over- eating or some combination of these and that you are needing help.  Recognizing this is a good first step: you are identifying a need and taking action.

Whether you are wanting to eat more or less, for most people, there are two aspects of the situation, one is practical : for instance, how do I stop vomiting?  how do I know how much to eat?  how do I deal with cravings?  The other aspect is to do with possible underlying causes which have induced you to adopt an eating/not eating strategy in the first place, unless you are part of the 5% who copied their friend who thought being sick was a good way to lose weight or variations on that theme.

The big question is, what happens if you leave your strategy behind?   Usually there is a gap or space which you might compare to the time between when you demolish a building and build a new one on the same site: everything looks unfamiliar, you feel you have decisions to make but you are doubtful about how to.  This is okay.  In fact it is a good thing.  When the mind hesitates it is often a sign that you need to wait for another bit of the jigsaw to fit in to lessen your confusion.  It is a process, like a plant growing.  It doesn’t happen all at once.

A lot of people have been treated badly in the past, as an adult or a child and their coping strategy, to eat too much or too little has been the best they could do in the circumstances.

They did well; they survived.  If there is no adult taking responsibility and supporting them, children will often blame themselves.  Blame leads to punishment.   In this case to eating or not eating.

 But how much is enough?  Did you get a life sentence? Or do you think perhaps it is time for parole at least?  What will you do with your anger?  Your disappointment?  Your hurt?  Perhaps there are ways of letting them go.  As you stop beating yourself up, you have more energy for dealing with the practical side of getting back to healthy eating.